Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
