every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
