You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
