Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
