Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
