Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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