is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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