Welp...herpes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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