There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
