So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
