Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
