We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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