it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
