You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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