We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
