all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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