So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
