"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
