i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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