how can u be prego again
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
3pm strippers are depressing
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
