I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
