it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
And then he peed in my hair
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