i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
