Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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