He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
