I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
