I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
