Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
