You're so nebulous sometimes
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
