More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
