This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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