According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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