so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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