What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
