Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
