she was so not down for the gang bang
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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