i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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