i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
