so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
