So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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