i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
