Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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