We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
