hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
