I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
