I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you made out with another girl for some wings
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
