dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
