It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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