so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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