Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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