are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
4 words: hood of his car
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
